“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”
My experience with step 10 isn’t that it is a humiliating process, but rather one that prevents derailment of meaningful progress. After the deep work of steps 4-9, it wouldn’t make sense to revert to the pattern of ignoring our mistakes or missteps. Step 10 is an admission of our humanity, if nothing else. In my steps, not all of my character defects were removed instantly. Some were but most have been long-term practices in behaving with more kindness, humility and compassion. My understanding of God is that situations in my life are placed in front of me and I’m given the opportunity to chose the path of God’s will, not my own. If I continue to choose God’s will, in spite of my fears, doubts or insecurities, it’s natural that I will find my character defects falling to the wayside. Often, I chose to act out of my fears, doubts and insecurities and get that familiar twinge that tells me I need to do a 10th step. A spot-check inventory. I can pray, ask for god to direct my thinking, put pen to paper and take it to my sponsor or other trusted person. More often than not, I can stop myself before I cause harm and practice restraint. This still requires me to take the issue to God to pray for the power to be the person my higher power would have me be. I, alone, lack the power to solve my alcoholism & I lack the power to transform my psyche into the kind of person I want to be. I tried therapy, self-help books, affirmations throughout the years. Nothing changed. But a willingness to admit fault, make amends promptly when necessary and a practice of reliance upon a higher power to get me through the business of life has been the key to emotional sobriety and stability that I had never before experienced.
