Boundaries are not meant to make other people happy and they often don’t.
When a relationship operates under codependent rules, the action of boundaries disrupts the status quo and causes discomfort. The thoughts and feelings of others towards us are not our business. Our business is to take care of ourselves, act with integrity and resist the urge to act selfishly. When a relationship has been boundary-less for so long, holding a boundary can create guilt. That guilt doesn’t serve you and you can let go of it. When a relationship has been boundary-less, holding a boundary can create anger in the other party. That anger is not yours and you do not have to take it on. When a relationship has been boundary-less, holding a boundary can create fear in the other party. That fear is not yours and you do not have to take it on. You are not responsible for others serenity or peace of mind. You are responsible for your own serenity and peace of mind. You are responsible for being kind and loving to yourself and others. Holding boundaries is kind and loving to yourself and others. Living active in addiction, we force ourselves to ignore the intuitive voice inside that says “I’m not okay with this”. Walking the path of recovery, we have to reconnect and learn to listen to our intuitive self. The inner voice has so much to teach us & we can be guided by it without fear of losing our security.
“God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.” – Alcoholics Anonymous page 164